The Package

 The relentlessly depressing thoughts had drained me out. I had started to feel extremely exhausted. A chain of dispiriting thoughts ran through my mind choking it thoroughly. I wanted her to hug me hard, pat my head, listen to my every single word and finally soothe me. But a mere thought of wanting her disturbed me. I felt my heart beat faster, blood flow through my veins furiously and the painful moments brim over me. It was because I knew that I could never see her again. Susan, my best friend, left me and this world forever on 14 June, leaving an array of spectacular memories in my mind and our laughter howering in my ears. 

The end of her life was, however, an unexpected one. Susan's death like numerous others dying with her was a deliberate murder commonly tagged as 'bomb blast'. Her life terminated amidst pools of blood, heaps of burnt remains - both of things and people, sabotaged structures and horrified screams. My whole body went numb the moment I saw her in that state. I kept staring at the unrecognizable body till somebody had to tell me that it was Susan who was lying down devoid of any motion or expression.

Immersed in my own thoughts, I didn't hear the knocking at my door till it really became loud. I was sitting at the coffee table, my head buried in my hands and my mind buried in her memories. Startled by the knocks I stood up, wiped the tears and headed towards the door.

"Your courier, madam," the postman's rough voice dragged me to the present. 

Whom was this parcel for? I hadn't ordered anything.

"Who has sent this?" I inquired with curiosity. 

"Susan" came the answer, rather late to my ears, petrifying them. Had I heard it right? Did he just say Susan? Is this even possible? 

"Madam please sign here," the postman said breaking the link of my thoughts. With trembling fingers I picked the pen and gave him a wavy signature. I shut the door behind me in bafflement. The package read :

To,

Disha Thosar, 

XXX Grand Park, 

Pune.

From,

Susan,

A1 Camspark,

Pune.

Date : 13 June 2020

Shock struck me hard. My bewildered eyes searched for the contents. A short note peeped through the package. It read, 'You, my friend, need a break. You've worked too much in the last month. So for your relaxation and my entertainment, I am sponsoring a duet trip to the lush rainforests of Coorg post monsoon. No tantrums please...' Inside the brown paper package were two Pune - Bangalore train tickets and an itinerary jewelled with her not-so-attractive handwriting. 

*

"These tall, green beauties seem to have failed to amuse you. These chocolates won't I hope," she chuckled as she sat near me. 3 months later, in the misty month of September, I was sitting idly, staring at a motionless rock lying amidst a few twigs of grass. I cannot tell exactly, but somewhere deep within me, I had the same feeling - of a motionless person amidst tall, giant photosynthesizing creatures. The duet trip had turned into a solo one for obvious reasons. 

Coorg, proudly known as the heart and soul of India never failed to mesmerize people, evoke happiness and nurture serenity. Famous for its rainforests,  coffee plantations, colonial bungalows, spices and hospitality,  it pictured itself perfect for those souls who seeked peace. I, however, was an exception. 

"Thank you," my short and quick response raised her perplexity levels to a height exceeding that of the tall trees above us.

"May I bother you with a question?" she asked innocently.

"Sure," I said in response, something too short.

"Is there something that is bothering you? You don't seem to be fine. You are lost. The traffic in your mind is contrary to the placid environment here," she said.

I went speechless for a minute. Sensing my discomfort, she added after a long pause. 

"Of course, if you are fine sharing it with me. I won't force you." And she went silent as if it was her turn to go speechless now. 

I effortfully separated my lips to speak but my emotionally heavy mind kept searching for words. I looked straight into her light brown eyes and her decent face which was occasionally brushed by the long, blonde, brown strands of her wavy hair. I felt a vibe full of trust, amiability and generosity. It took me a minute to become stable before I spoke. 

Kavya was her name, as I later came to know. Like a miracle, words escaped from my mouth as if I had prisoned them for numerous days at a stretch. 

"I lost her. My Anam Cara. Only she knew the silence in my words. I don't know how long will it take to heal. I don't have her replacement and I'll never have one too because she was God's masterpiece - one that inspite of having several replicas is the most spectacular that attracts even the most careless souls. I feel helpless." With this, the words trailed off.

After a couple of silent moments, Kavya spoke. "I surely cannot feel the way you are feeling right now or understand what you are going through. But all I can tell you is that nature has certain rules and formulae. Every person who takes birth has to die. As you are born empty-handed, in the same way you will die without taking anything with you. Natural things are unstoppable.  It is we who lag behind pondering and dwelling upon situations out of our control.  So, sooner or later, try to recover, cool down. And I know you surely will," she consoled. 

I must say these words offered a much needed mental support. I had never felt lighter in the past 3 months like I felt at that moment. I felt connected; some peace re-entered my vicinity and calmed me down.

"Thank you for your kind words. I feel much better now." I said in an attempt to express my gratitude. 

"I think you should thank me for one more reason."

"And what's that?"

"For gulping your chocolate to prevent it from melting and creating a mess."

And a fit of laughter filled the air as we both shared a rhythm full of tearful eyes and wide-grinned mouths. We laughed and laughed till our cheekbones ached. 

"So for the second treat of chocolate, why don't we race to my room right there?" Kavya offered, pointing towards a low-lit cottage in the corner of a plantation, resting under the canopy of widely ranged heights of trees and a rich petrichor heavenly complimenting the languid atmosphere. 

"Follow me.." she yelled aloud running aimlessly. I was about to start my walk when I heard a large thud. Kavya had tripped over a humongous rock which she had ignored carelessly in the sheer excitement of our newly-planned rendezvous at her cottage. 

Looking at Kavya, somewhere deep in my conscience, I felt that I had met Susan again, for their personalities were way too same - both were knowledgeable, chucklesome, careless and soft-hearted. I felt like this all was preplanned just to give Susan a new name and a new face. That deep connection with Kavya continued forever.

Disha Thosar